Sneezes

Why I rock and my life is better than yours?

Alright so obviously I'm a little bias on my quality of living but my life is amazing. Why? Because I'm 100% invested in the overall day to day improvement of it. Most of you don't know this but I have a list, call it a "bucket list" if you want but I got the idea myself without any conscious external influence from Hollywood. Actually, absolutely do not call it a bucket list...I hate that name.


Here are the rules:
1) Each month I check off something on my list.
2) Once it is on the list, it must be completed to be checked off.
3) List item must be documented.
4) No item may be removed.
5) This list is meant for me only. It is not necessarily meant to benefit anyone else unless specifically stated in the list item (ex: Serve Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, volunteer, etc). That being said I don't keep a "fuck" list so don't ask.
6) I set the rules. I don't let other people affect the list or my emotions in regards to the list. It makes me damn happy so don't hate!



So for instance one month I taught myself how to drive a motorboat. I went out on Redfish Lake alone. This is a huge feat for me and seeing as it was horrifyingly windy that day I feel it was a huge accomplishment. Oh and Oshi went too.


Sometimes they are simple tasks like go to the History Museum. By the way it is totally boring to go to the History Museum and take pictures of yourself. So task guests are always invited. And thanks to all who have participated with me (Laura, Sophie, Oshi, Family!!!). PS I had to stack like 20 kids blocks up and set an auto timer to get this gem.

Actually many thanks to Laura. January last year I decided I wanted to learn how to shoot a gun. I no longer want to learn how to shoot a gun. The list item started out positive...

with lots of excitement over the "cool" earmuffs and the super awesome glasses.

I couldn't control the gun. It kept pulling to the left. The place was super loud and disconcerting. I was horrified.

So horrified that for some reason I started to cry. Laura didn't want to take pictures but I forced her to document everything. I think its hilarious. I remembering yelling to Laura over the gunfire "Why am I crying?". She had no answer...there were no words, just one telling picture.

Of course I made up for it by shooting off a couple rounds at Pojo's.

Anyways I just wanted to share. In my next post I catch you up on this year now that you understand it all.

Story Time

So once in a blue moon my flip gets thrown. Now I am usually a pretty sweet, do-no-wrong girl but every now and then something happens and I go hulk on somebody. So about a week ago my friend and I were out dancing at the bar. When this huge amazon of a woman steps on my foot and elbows me in the face. So I tell her, "S%$# watch it!" She says back "You watch it!" Now any other day I would have just walked away but I work in retail and eventually that rage just boils over. I assessed the situation, she was super tall but not very muscular. I'm a scrapper, I knew I could take her.

So I let out a stream of obscenities "Christmas Story" style. And it is on...we are eyeing each other figuring out our best first moves when my lovely friend pulls me off the dance floor and out of a perfectly good fight. Not to lose my one chance for a fight since 7th grade I turn around and see that she was dancing with one of my guy friends and elbowing people with her huge amazon arms. So I went up to him and said "Ew Andrew I hear she has something. This one's a no go." Andrew immediately steps away. Amazon glares at me and I say, "This is my town b$%#@. I'll say who you can dance with. Nobody puts baby in the corner." Now is a great time to mention that that's the coolest thing I've ever said and that I'm drunk. Amazon is getting really angry but once again my friend pulls me away from the fight. I head off to the bathroom to cool down and who do I run into along the way. The Amazon and we have an all out brawl. After giving her a black eye, she punches me in the nose, security is called and she is kicked out. I'm declared awesome and people lift me on their shoulders because I have rid them of an awful dancer!!!

Well I wish that had happened. What actually happened?.....I ran into her at the bathroom, there was some more trash talking and when I turned around to leave I walked into a door which gave me a bloody nose and a nice little bruise. Which in the end is pretty much what I deserved.

I'm weird today

Today I found a folder on my mom's computer that was labeled "Becky's weird today". Thanks Mom. So I opened it up and this is what I found.

Apparently all it takes to make my sister laugh is me with a bra on my head buzzing like a bee. One of my favorite things in the whole world is my sister's laugh.

#7 Dating?

God its been awhile. New Zealand really revived me. So much so that I'm ready to make some changes. Alright so I might or might not have a date coming up sometime later this year.

And it got me thinking about all the horrible things that could happen.

I could get drunk....that's happened the last 3 first dates.

("mmmm...Bud Light")

I could lose all my manners. Very possible...I don't go on dates very often.

I could feel gaseous and make a horrible face trying to hold it in.

I could fall asleep. Anxiety makes me tired.

I could wake up and not realize that I have food on my face. I could also be wearing a fake sorority sweatshirt and look dumpy.

Once again I could drink too much.

I could try to be sexy and fail horribly wearing a tube top that makes me look slightly chunky. (But its still better than that sweater, right?)

("rawrrrr")

I might get nervous and shake weight at the table.

("So nervous!!")

What if my family showed up?

("Well Hello!")

My date could like him more than me.

("My turn cousin, what?!")

("What's happening, Hot Stuff?")

Brad's stuff could pop out of his pants and he would notice.

My cousin could perform feats of daring putting me to shame.

And my worst fear my boob could pop out...it's happened before. How could I not notice???

But mainly I worry that he won't think I'm funny.

#6 The Awkward Dance

So one of my brand reps, Mr. Ukiah Bogle, and I like to awkward dance when there are no customers at Pac Sun. The other day I decided to video tape it and now as a kind of farewell for now I've included the youtube link (Yes, I now have a YouTube site). Just so you have something to keep you company while I'm in New Zealand. Pass my site onto your friends and I'll see in a couple weeks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=E-01F_A1Djg

And if that link doesn't work just search "pacsun awkward dance" on youtube.com.

Also Ukiah Bogle is part of this kick ass band from Boise, Idaho called We Won the Science Fair. You all should check them out, add them on myspace, buy their sweet t-shirts, and just plain support a good local band.

#5 - The Fruit Loops Shoot

No better way to spend a Sunday than in a tub of fruit loops. This will be the third type of food I've kicked back in but the first one that involved a photo shoot.


The amazing Laura Haro took pictures for me as a Christmas present.


See we started selling this Unit shirt in PacSun that I thought was stupid (some naked girl in a bowl of cereal) and I told my manager that if we carried that shit (I mean shirt) then I should be able to wear one with my picture on it. Well she didn't think I would do it...so I did. What follows are just a couple pictures from the shoot. I am wearing a bathing suit. Enjoy!!

#4 - The Snuggie Experiment

The Snuggie Experiment

It turns out that snuggies are one of the greatest inventions of all time.

Brad's (my cousin) old homemade snuggie was looking pretty beat up.
So my mom got him and me snuggies for Christmas.

Brad felt this was quite the improvement, but we quickly realized the snuggie was good for much more than laying about and melting into the couch.

Want to seductively woo your man but don't feeling like shaving your legs? Then put on the leopard print snuggie and growl...He will fall for it. (Side note: the snuggie can be worn by either partner during sex...oh the possibilities.)

We wore our snuggies during prayer, it gave us that angelic look and hid the fact that Brad had his hand down his pants through the whole service.

Later we found that our snuggies were able to assist us in our cliff jumping adventures. No more expensive jumpsuits needed.

Brad's Tarzan outfits was a really hit with the menfolk and the ladies.

When I got home I found that the snuggie was good for all sorts of things. Here is just one of the many clubbing outfits I've worn out to the bars. Now all the guys are buying me drinks.

This outfit got me a date last week (he cancelled but I'm sure he'll come back).

It's casually tied across the bust and gives you the sweet booty everyone wants this days without packing on the calories.

For the more elegant women, there is also snuggie evening wear.

The lines this dress creates will having everyone gasping at your next black tie event.

For the superhero the snuggie creates a warm cape to comfort you on those cold winter night flights.

Tarzan meet your cousin Janet. Careful your boob doesn't pop out Janet.

Snuggie helps you pull off the 20s film star look in a snitch.
Hey you can even poop in your snuggie. Feel warm and comfortable as you relieve yourself, just be careful not to get your snuggie in the toilet.

(Warning: if snuggie gets caught in the flush quickly remove yourself, call plumber to fix the blockage, then go and purchase new snuggie)

This shot is from when mum and I played alien space worms called the Confundroims on the newest episode of Dr. Who.

The snuggie can even class up your home, here I demonstrate its use as a bear skin rug.

Snuggie can even help you gain inches.

Look how tall the snuggie can make you.

But careful because the snuggie doesn't just make you gain inches in height but you'll watch your waist line change too. Here we see the effects of all day snuggie usage.

Well that's all for now. I'm sure there will be more to come. Also keep your eyes peeled for my blog on shake weighting around Boise. You can work out those HJ muscles all over the treasure valley.